Last November, an elderly couple in the small
Nova Scotia town of Waterside engaged in a dangerous, potentially criminal
behavior. Their “offense” was this: When they drove past a child who was
riding a bicycle, they extended their hands and waved hello.
An over-zealous parent immediately reported them
to the authorities, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police arrested them on
suspicion that they had tried to abduct the child. The couple, both in their
70s, were questioned for more than two hours before being released.
While this is an extreme case of overprotective
parenting, it’s becoming increasingly common for parents to try to safeguard
their children from every type of harm, both real and imagined. Time magazine, CBS News, Oprah, CNN, and numerous others have recently weighed in on the
phenomenon that’s been dubbed “helicopter parenting” — meaning parents who
hover over their children and live in fear of every step they take.
Chris Meno, a psychologist at Indiana
University, has studied the problem and counsels students who have become
anxious or depressed as a result of overprotective parents.1 She said that parents
who protect their children too much create people who lack confidence
and are unable to achieve things on their own. Children need to struggle in
order to become confident in their own abilities. They need to make mistakes
and occasionally fail in order to learn.
Or as David Elkind, a child psychologist and
professor at Tufts University, put it, “Kids need to feel badly sometimes. We
learn through experience and we learn through bad experiences. Through
failure, we learn how to cope.”2
Stripped of the experience of facing challenges
on their own, many of today’s children never learn how to adapt creatively to
the normal challenges of life. They develop a fear of taking risks and become
psychologically fragile. Without a sense of accomplishment, they lack a clear
sense of identity. Without a well-defined sense of self, they miss out on real
happiness — the very thing that overprotective parents are attempting to
guarantee in the first place.
Children who are overprotected through college
...
